So it seems like murmurs of Lamar Odom battling a substance abuse problem may be true.
When I first heard this story, I thought it was the Kardashian machine at work smearing Larmar’s name because of recent infidelity rumors. But mums has been the word from the Kardashian camp. Instead, corroboration has come from “friends” and even hotel workers.
As news started to really break today, a local radio deejay asked, “Could you stay with someone with a substance abuse problem?” Personally, I honestly don’t know. I realize that’s the safe answer but it’s my best answer.
Without pinpointing too many exact details to preserve anonymity, I was in a relationship with someone who I would describe as an alcoholic. I doubt he would admit that, but that’s my truth. In his defense, he didn’t start out that way. He was smart, outgoing, handsome, funny, successful. But after a couple of stumbles (and I purposely use that word because from my perspective they were very minor) in life, he turned to alcohol.
It took a couple of years, but eventually I left. (prior to that, we were together for about 2 years.)
The biggest challenge with being in a relationship with substance abusers is that there’s more to consider then just being a support system.
For instance, he was a mean drunk. Under the influence he would pretty much say and do anything toward me. As the episodes occurred, I was fully aware that it was the substance driving the behavior. But it didn’t excuse it or justify me putting myself in situations which had the potential to escalate to something dangerous.
He drove drunk which put his life and others in harms way. My issue with that probably goes without saying. But I had a more personal disdain for that than the average person. I had a best friend that was killed in a drunk driving accident at 21. To this day, it’s been one of the most gut wrenching things I’ve been through. I always felt that staying with him was some sort of approval of his behavior and betrayal to her.
Then there was the embarrassment, the long nights up waiting for some sort of indication he was alive for the next day.
Most importantly he didn’t want the help.
Supporting would have been easy, but the other things proved to be unbearable. The right thing for me was to leave.
Today, he seems to be past that. I’ll always feel something different/ special for him than anyone else. But ultimately, the things we endured stripped me of my respect for him.
Soooo…back to the original question. Could I stay with someone with a substance abuse problem?” I don’t know. That’s a tough call.
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